Dating communication issues invalidating therapist

Using Facebook pages to force the other person to get in touch by posting TMI (too much information) messages Sending emails complaining about the relationship and listing their shortcomings, what the problems are on a regular basis – I call this People Who Write Too Much. Breaking up via email and text, and one of the most frequent occurrences, breaking No Contact via text and email.We engage in lazy communication because it’s low risk and ‘safe’.If they’re not calling you regularly or at all, and instead are opting for distanced means of communication, they are not that interested in you – they’re stoking your fire for when they next want your company.

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She wanted some feedback on an email she intended to send to him expressing her discontent, which immediately had me curious.

Yeah we’ll still get hurt, but it’s not what we imagine it would be if we put ourselves out there.

And truth be told, some us engage in these means of communication because we get to be far more aggressive than we would be if we were face to face or on the phone. If you use lazy communication modes to manage the pace and temperature of the relationship, to create false intimacy, to express feelings that you wouldn’t express face to face, to confront others, to avoid ‘scary’ face-to-face conflict and to dodge and minimise opportunities for rejection, you are guilty of lazy communication and you are fostering lazy relationships. If they’re not making proper efforts to interact via phone and face-to-face on a regular basis and keep protesting about how busy they are and yada yada yada, you need to roll back your level of investment.

Just because sex is involved and they’re nice when they do eventually speak to or see you, it doesn’t make it a If they predominantly want to communicate via text, email etc, they’re passing time with you and keeping you on the fringes of their life, not the ‘inner circle’.

As they say in ‘Meet The Parents’ – you’re not in the “circle of trust”.

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